HEAVENLY VOICE MAIL

Most of us have now learned to live with

voice mail as a necessary part of our lives.

Have you ever wondered what it would be

like if God decided to install voice mail?

Imagine praying and hearing the following:

Thank you for calling heaven.

For English press 1

For Spanish press 2

For all other languages, press 3

Please select one of the following options:

Press 1 for request

Press 2 for thanksgiving

Press 3 for complaints

Press 4 for all others

I am sorry, all our Angels and Saints are

busy helping other sinners right now.

However, your prayer is important to us

and we will answer it in the order it was

received. Please stay on the line.

If you would like to speak to:

God, press 1

Jesus, press 2

Holy Spirit, press 3

To find a loved one that has been assigned

to heaven press 5, then enter his social

security # followed by the pound sign.

(If you receive a negative response,

please hang up and dial area code 666)

For reservations to heaven, please enter

JOHN followed by the numbers, 3 16.

For answers to nagging questions about

dinosaurs, life and other planets, please

wait until you arrive in heaven for the

specifics.

Our computers show that you have already

been prayed for today, please hang up and

call again tomorrow.

The office is now closed for the weekend to

observe a religious holiday.

If you are calling after hours and need

emergency assistance, please contact

your local pastor.

THANK YOU AND HAVE A HEAVENLY

DAY.

*Thank God, he is always willing to listen

any time night or day.

SPECIAL PRAYERS

I JUST FEEL A NEED FOR

PRAYING FOR EVERYONE

I KNOW. THE LORD KNOWS

WHAT EACH AND EVERYONE

NEEDS.

1) BEE BEE & FAMILY

2) DEVI & FAMILY

3) DOREEN & FAMILY -

ESPECIALLY THE

NEW BABY WHO IS SICK.

4) EDITH & SON

5) HENNIE/AMANDAY & FAMILY

6) HILDA & FAMILY

7) JOAN/FATHER/LEON/

LEIGH/KIM/JEROME/

JOSHUA & JORDAN.

8) JUSTENE/PAUL/WIANDRE

9) THE GOVENDER FATHER

& 3 DAUGHTERS

10) LANA & FAMILY

(MAY THE LORD UNDERTAKE

FOR LANA WITH LEGS)

11) LINDA & HER MOM

12) LULU & FAMILY -

LULU'S ONLY DAUGHTER

OF 24 LOST HER FIRST

BABY ON FRIDAY - THE

BABY (A DAUGHTER)

WAS STILL BORN. MAY

THE LORD BE WITH THEM

IN THEIR TIME OF SORROW.

13) MAGRIET & DICK

14) MR & MRS RYAN

15) NICHOLAS & FAMILY

16) NISH & FIONA - MAY

THE LORD FIND THE KILLER

OF MIA (NISH'S) MOM.

17. PAULA & FAMILY - PAULA

LOST HER HUSBANDS ABLUT

3 MONTHS AGO. MAY THE

LORD UNDERTAKE FOR HER

AND HER FAMILY.

19. PRECIOUS & FAMILY

20. RACHEL/STEVIE/JUSTIN/

STEVIE'S MOM.

21. REBECCA & FAMILY.

22. SAARTJIE/BEN & FAMILY

- SAARTJIE IS RECOVERING.

FROM A BLADDER OPERATION.

23. SAMANTHA/SHAUN - THEY DESPERATELY

NEED INTERVENTION IN THEIR LIVES.

LORD, PLEASE, UNDERTAKE FOR MY

CHILDREN & SORT THEIR LIVES OUT.

24. SUSANNE & PARTNER.

25. THEO & LYNETTE.

26. LOUKIE/ILSE & KIDS. LORD YOU

KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING THERE.

27. ALISHA & HER MOM - MIRANDA.

28.TERINA & FAMILY.

29. THERESA/KEVIN & FAMILY.

30. ALL THE CONGREGATION & PASTORS OF THE

ASSEMBLIES OF CHRIST CHURCH - PORT

ELIZABETH/EAST LONDON & DURBAN.

31. ALL THE CONGREGATION & PASTORS OF THE

APOSTOLIC FAITH MISSION (AGS) - HILLAY,

DURBAN.

32. LORD PLEASE SORT OUR LOUKIE AND MYSELF.

LET THING COME RIGHT FOR US.

I AM NAMING IT AND CLAIMING IT ON BEHALF

OF EVERYONE. THANK YOU, LORD.

RECIPE FOR FRIENSHIP

1. Speak to people - there is nothing

so nice as a cheerful word of greeting.

2. Smile at people - it takes 72 muscles

to frown and only 16 to smile.

(At my at I better keep on smiling).

3. Call people by name - the sweetest

music to any-one's ear is the sound

of his or her own name.

4. Be sincerely cordial - speak and

act as if it were a genuine pleasure.

5. Be considerate of the feelings of

others - no one likes to be rebuffed

6. Be thoughtful of the opinions of

others - there are three sides to

controversy - yours, the other person's

and the right side.

7. Be genuinely interested in people -

you can like everyone if you try.

8. Be generous with praise - praise

lifts, criticism lowers.

9. Be alert to render service - above

all what counts in life is what we do

for others.

10. Be fair in your criticism -

remember your opinion is personal

with you, and that does not always

make it correct.

DAILY MESSAGE.

I WANT TO BE IN THE CENTER

OF YOUR PLANS FOR MY LIFE,

LORD, KNOWING YOU HAVE

GIVEN ME EVERYTHING,

I NEED FOR WHAT IS AHEAD.

23/09/09

I PRAY EVERY DAY FOR OUR

TRANSPORT, WHICH BY THE

WAY STILL CONSISTS OF 1

VEHICLE WHICH HAS TO BE

SHARED BY 4 PEOPLE. MY

HUSBAND LET MY SON

AND MYSELF (I DON'T KNOW

WHY I HAVE TO ALWAYS GO ALONG,

BUT I SUPPOSE I AM THE FAMILY

GOFER), TAKE HIS (HUSBAND'S)

BAKKIE TO A GARAGE FOR A

QUOTE AFTER HE TRIED TO

FIX IT. THE BAKKIE HOPPED,

CUT OUT AND WENT 40 KM ON

LEVEL ROAD. WE EVENTUALLY

GOT TO THE GARAGE, BUT THE

PROBLEM WAS GETTING HOME.

PS: YOU WON'T BELIEVE IT, BUT

MY HUSBAND FETCHED THE

BAKKIE BACK TODAY AS THE

QUOTE WAS TOO HIGH.

IT WAS RAINING QUITE HARD -

OTHER DAYS THE SUN BAKES

YOU AND WE HAD QUITE DISTANCE

TO GET HOME. ON OUR ROUTE

THERE ARE HARDLY BUSES AND

THE ONLY OPTION WAS A TAXI.

MY SON WANTED TO WALK, BUT

I THOUGHT DAMMIT IF MY 79 YEAR

OLD MOTHER AND HER SISTER OF

68 YEARS CAN CATCH A TAXI

IN PORT ELIZABETH, WHY CAN'T

WE. WHEN THE FIRST TAXI CAME

PAST I JUST PUT UP MY HAND. (I

BELIEVE THERE IS CERTAIN WAYS

YOU HAVE TO FLAG THEM DOWN)

THEY STOPPED AND THEN WE HAD

A DISCUSSION OF WHERE WE WERE

GOING TO GET OFF. I WAS OFFERED

A SEAT FRONT AND MY RELUCTANT

SON WAS PUT IN THE BACK. I HUNG

ON FOR DEAR LIFE, BECAUSE MY

DOOR COULD NOT CLOSE PROPERLY

AND WE WENT A QUITE A SPEED, BUT

WE GOT TO OUR DESTINATION IN

ONE PIECE.

COMMENT: WILL I TAKE A RIDE IN

A TAXI AGAIN? YES, YES, YES. IF

YOU DON'T TRY ANYTHING ONCE

YOU WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT YOU

ARE MISSING. MY DOCTOR SAID

THAT HEART (I HAD A MITRAL VALVE

REPLACED IN 2007) AND HYPERTENSION

IS NOT TOO GOOD AND I AM A

POTENTIAL HEART ATTACK VICTIM.

I CAN'T SIT AND FEEL SORRY FOR

MYSELF - LIFE IS PASSING ME BY

AND THERE IS STILL SO MUCH I

WANT TO DO.

DO ME A FAVOUR: IF YOU HAVE NOT

TAKEN A TAXI RIDE - JUST GO FOR IT.

DO YOURSELF A FAVOUR AND GO

TO ANY HOSPITAL AND SEE HOW

THE PATIENTS ARE SUFFERING

THERE AND YOU WILL THANK

GOD THAT YOU ARE STILL ALIVE.

IF YOU EVER NEED A SHOULDER

TO CRY ON OR JUST SOMEONE

TO LISTEN TO YOU.

e-mail: louisavdw@mweb.co.za

e-mail: vanderwattlouisa@yahoo.com

GOD BLESS.

A SPIRITUAL AND TRUE POEM

DRINKING FROM MY SAUCER.

I've never made a fortune, and it's

probably too late now.

But I don't worry about that much,

I'm happy anyhow

I'm reaping better that I sowed.

I'm drinking from my saucer,

'Cause my cup has overflowed.

Haven't got a lot of riches,

and sometimes the going's tough

But I've got loving ones all around me,

and that makes me rich enough.

I thank GOD for his Blessings,

and the Mercies He's bestowed.

I'm drinking from my saucer,

'Cause my cup has overflowed.

I remember times when things went wrong,

My faith wore somewhat thin.

But all at once the dark clouds broke,

and the sun peeped through again.

So LORD, help me not to gripe,

about the tough rows I have hoed.

I'm drinking from my saucer,

'Cause my cup has overflowed.

If GOD gives me strength and courage,

When the way grows steep and rough.

I'll not ask for other blessings,

I'm already Blessed enough.

And may I never be too busy,

to help others bear their loads.

Then I'll keep drinking from my saucer,

'Cause my cup has overflowed.

When I think of how many people in this

world have it worse than I do, I realize

just how BLESSED WE really are.

We have the best, OUR FATHER

IN HEAVEN.

(This poem was faxed to me by

my sister - Joan Wilken on the

21/07/09)

FEELING LONELY AND DEPRESSED

It is the 15/09/09. Everything seems

to be going wrong with my family.

My husband's bakkie - a 2000i Colt

that he uses for work as he is self-

employed has broken down. My daughter's

old Golf has broken down and had to be

towed in with my car, an Almera.

I know that everyone will be saying at

least we have transport and that is

more than some people have, but

my husband has had to put the tools in the car

with the ladders hanging out of the window.

He needs to get to work otherwise there is

no food and we are renting, so the rent/lights/

water and etc. needs to be paid

My daughter needs the car for work as she

works plus minus 40 Km from home and

she works shifts. She has had to swop

her shifts so that she can work night shift

and my husband can use the car in the

day time. The problem is that my car is

automatic and heavy on petrol. It was

bought (still paying instalments) because

I can only drive automatic and I need the

car as I had a mitral valve replaced,

but I still have problems with

my heart and need to get to a doctor when

required. We do not have the money at

present to repair the two broken down

vehicles.

LORD, SEND YOUR ANGELS TO KEEP

CHARGE OVER ME AND KEEP ME IN

ALL MY WAYS.

Zacchaeus Meets Jesus

Luke 19:1-10

Jesus was going through the city

of Jericho.

A man was there named Zacchaeus

who was a very important tax

collector, and he was wealthy.

He wanted to see who Jesus was,

but he was not able because he

was too short to see above the

crowd.

He ran ahead to a place where

Jesus would come, and he

climed a sycamore tree so he

could see him (Jesus).

When Jesus came to that place,

he looked up and said to him,

"Zacchaeus, hurry and come

down! I must stay at your house

today."

Zacchaeus came down quickly

and welcomed him gladly.

All the people saw this and

began to complain, "Jesus is

staying with a sinner."

But Zacchaeus stood and said

to the Lord, "I will give half of

my possessions to the poor.

And if I have cheated anyone,

I will pay back four times more."

Jesus said to him, "Salvation

has come to this house today,

because this man also belongs

to the family of Abraham.

The Son of Man came to find

lost people and save them."

CONSIDER:

LISTING THINGS YOU LIKE

ABOUT YOURSELF AND

THANKING GOD FOR MAKING

YOU SPECIAL.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL TODAY.