HEAVENLY VOICE MAIL

Most of us have now learned to live with

voice mail as a necessary part of our lives.

Have you ever wondered what it would be

like if God decided to install voice mail?

Imagine praying and hearing the following:

Thank you for calling heaven.

For English press 1

For Spanish press 2

For all other languages, press 3

Please select one of the following options:

Press 1 for request

Press 2 for thanksgiving

Press 3 for complaints

Press 4 for all others

I am sorry, all our Angels and Saints are

busy helping other sinners right now.

However, your prayer is important to us

and we will answer it in the order it was

received. Please stay on the line.

If you would like to speak to:

God, press 1

Jesus, press 2

Holy Spirit, press 3

To find a loved one that has been assigned

to heaven press 5, then enter his social

security # followed by the pound sign.

(If you receive a negative response,

please hang up and dial area code 666)

For reservations to heaven, please enter

JOHN followed by the numbers, 3 16.

For answers to nagging questions about

dinosaurs, life and other planets, please

wait until you arrive in heaven for the

specifics.

Our computers show that you have already

been prayed for today, please hang up and

call again tomorrow.

The office is now closed for the weekend to

observe a religious holiday.

If you are calling after hours and need

emergency assistance, please contact

your local pastor.

THANK YOU AND HAVE A HEAVENLY

DAY.

*Thank God, he is always willing to listen

any time night or day.